Touching

We were talking about touch in class on Friday, and a scenario came up in my head. Women touch more softly, almost in a caring and nurturing way. Guys on the other hand tend to touch in ways that are more physical and aggressive. One such example is this guy we will call, X. X tends to hit, slap, and punch. These physical touches are not harmful in anyway, but are touches that I feel are more aggressive. I then think back to my blog before this one. I said in class that I want to punch the kid back whenever he does these things to me. This still holds true. I feel that this may have to do with my background coming from Hawaii. Women in the mainland tend to have more of a “gentle touch”. I on the other hand grew up more aggressive. If someone looked or hit me the wrong way, I would want to fight back. That was how I was brought up. This is not necessarily because of my family background, but because socially, this is what was taught to me. Over the years here at LC, these things have toned down. I dunno if I could attribute this to a more middle class way of thinking, but somehow I do. In Hawaii, there is no real barrier between lower class and middle class ways of thinking. There is a difference in Upper class, and those kids are hated on (I think that is normal everywhere). Socially, the two groups tend to think a like. In turn, I don’t always feel like it has to do with your social hierarchy, but also the environment in which you surround yourself with.

LC vs Hawaii Thinking

As I’m thinking this book, I think about emotions here at LC and at home. I am from Hawaii, and I am not afraid to wear my emotions on my sleeve. If I am not happy, then I am not afraid to express it. For example, a friend and I got into an altercation once. I yelled at him because a) I thought he was dumb and 2) he was pissing me off. However, here at LC I express my emotions very differently. When I’m happy, I am very happy and there is no need to hide that. But when I am mad, I tend to feel the need to hide that anger. I am not in my normal social settings, and don’t know how people will react to my emotions. Maybe I am afraid of what people will think of me, and wonder why I am feeling that way. It’s almost as if I’m trying to keep people distant from me when I’m upset. It’s seems also that I am trying to hide my sadness or anger to make other people happy. This seems as if I am sacrificing my happiness for other people’s happiness. I live in close quarters with my three other room mates, and feeling angry makes the room feel uncomfortable and tense. None of us want that, and sometimes hide our anger in order to try to cut the tension when really it just makes it worse. This is kind of like the household. Maybe this is a gender characteristic. We are all females in my apartment and it has been a social norm for women to try and make other’s around you happy. Like I said earlier, it’s like we’re catering to other people’s feelings and emotions and the sacrifice of our own.

Private vs. Public Emotions

In our class, we are discussing the book called the managed heart. In the book, it talks about how we perform emotions and feelings in professional life. But it is difficult to think about performing emotions in public, and not in private. Personally, I think that we are always performing our emotions. It just depends on the specific audiences that are around us. In a way, it’s kind of like the Las Chicas and performing their identities. Instead of performing our identites, we are performing our emotions… which can sometimes translate into identities. I feel that in most of professions, you commodities your emotions in order to get a higher profit, and make other people happy. We also perform emotions at home. People feel like they have to be happy at home. They may not always feel happy, but they feel like they need to be happy at home for their family’s sake and happiness. I feel that as a child, you also feel like you have to feel happy around your parents and obey their commands. It may not make you happy, but you have to pretend that you are happy for your family. I’m not necessarily saying that feelings of happiness and other emotions are not genuine. I’m just saying that maybe feelings and emotions are produced at home in private, as well as in public.

emotions

It is always difficult to distinguish between a feeling and emotion. According to "The managed heart" feelings are the initial thing that we feel. The emotion is the underlying and deeper feeling. We think about out feeling and turn it into an emotion. In America, we show are emotions. We "wear our emotions on our sleeves". Now is this normal? Do we really always have to show an emotion all the time. Showing your emotion is especially important for jobs. Also in America, we must FAKE an emotion for the satisfaction of others. An example that we talked about in class was a flight attendant. For many flight attendants, they must smile and cater to everyone's needs and wants. They must portray that they are happy. Their true emotions must be pushed a side in order to make the customer happy. This is also true in the sales world. I worked as a sales associate for two summers. There were days when I would have such a bad day, but I could never show it to the customer. I always had to make sure that they were alright and that they were finding everything to their likable standards. Although this is hard sometimes, I feel that this is a norm for our society. Our society puts up fronts. We hid our true selves in order to hide our true feelings or our emotions for the sake of other people.

abortion, class and race

Going back to wednesdays class, abortion came up in our class. In American society, abortion and teenage pregnancy seem to be major taboos for teenagers. However, for the Mexican-Americans, this was a sign of adulthood. This is what they were aspiring for. Middle class white girls get birth control and often get abortions. This is because a) they can afford it, and b) because like the preps, they want to seem innocent and "pure". They don't want ot be seen as promiscuous. They also have resources that are readily available to them. One of these resources is money. Also, White American girls want to have children later because they want to take the path of college. They want to get a good education because they believe it will create a more comfortable way of living.

However, for the Mexican-American girls a baby would be like a badge a girl scout would get. It's an accomplishment. Abortion is not an option. A reason why this is so is because of their religion. In Catholicism, abortions are looked down upon. A fetus has life, and abortion is killing a life. This is a sin. Therefore, keeping the baby is better than being seen as a sinner.

Clothing and culture

In the book, the subject of clothing and make up became an issue in the book. The Mexican American girls wore darker make up and baggier clothes than the preps. The preps went more natural and wore more form fitting clothing. For the Mexican-Americans, this was to make them look older and help them achieve (or what they perceived to be) an adult status within their community. This appearance of a darker and older appearance pushed away the the child like aspect, even though in reality, they are still really children. Another way that they want to get rid of their "childish" image is by having a child. They think that this will boost them into an adult stratosphere.

However, I feel that teenagers are always trying to look and act older. When I was a teenager, I remember wanting to be treated somewhat like an adult. Teenagers want freedom and parents are reluctant to give them that freedom because they are still just children. I also feel that our society is shifting into a materialistic society which is transcending down into the younger generations. Teenagers focus so much on their appearance and clothing. It's almost an obsession. We want people to think we're cool, so we wear the coolest clothes, nicest scents, etc. I feel like this is also going deeper into the younger generations.

Also, in Latino cultures, having children when you are a teenager is acceptable. It is not something that is shunned out of their society. The Mexican-American girls feels like it gives them a sense of purpose. These cultural upbringings change the way these girls view adulthood. This also changes the way that they may see sexuality. It is interesting because in a way this rejects alot of social norms. For instance, in many situations, a teen pregnancy would look down upon. I know that in Hawaii, it would be taboo to have a teen pregnancy. I feel that girls would be looked down upon by society. However, in the Mexican-American societies, it is widely accepted.

Class culture

Julie Bettie brought up class as a culture. She says that class differences and meaning are shaped by how people, especially girls experience gender and race. She also says that class culture plus gender and race has something to do with inequality.

She says that class identity is shaped through markets and the buying of commodities. Class identity is also fueled by institutions like school, family, peers, and society. I also believe that class identity is formed by the amount of money one person has. Depending on the amount of money you have, you are able to buy commodities for social and personal relationships. Women feel that they must compete with one another to see who can outshine who. Bettie says that women of lower class status contrast themselved to people of higher status. This puts a "hidden injury" or psychological burden on them.