Touching

We were talking about touch in class on Friday, and a scenario came up in my head. Women touch more softly, almost in a caring and nurturing way. Guys on the other hand tend to touch in ways that are more physical and aggressive. One such example is this guy we will call, X. X tends to hit, slap, and punch. These physical touches are not harmful in anyway, but are touches that I feel are more aggressive. I then think back to my blog before this one. I said in class that I want to punch the kid back whenever he does these things to me. This still holds true. I feel that this may have to do with my background coming from Hawaii. Women in the mainland tend to have more of a “gentle touch”. I on the other hand grew up more aggressive. If someone looked or hit me the wrong way, I would want to fight back. That was how I was brought up. This is not necessarily because of my family background, but because socially, this is what was taught to me. Over the years here at LC, these things have toned down. I dunno if I could attribute this to a more middle class way of thinking, but somehow I do. In Hawaii, there is no real barrier between lower class and middle class ways of thinking. There is a difference in Upper class, and those kids are hated on (I think that is normal everywhere). Socially, the two groups tend to think a like. In turn, I don’t always feel like it has to do with your social hierarchy, but also the environment in which you surround yourself with.

LC vs Hawaii Thinking

As I’m thinking this book, I think about emotions here at LC and at home. I am from Hawaii, and I am not afraid to wear my emotions on my sleeve. If I am not happy, then I am not afraid to express it. For example, a friend and I got into an altercation once. I yelled at him because a) I thought he was dumb and 2) he was pissing me off. However, here at LC I express my emotions very differently. When I’m happy, I am very happy and there is no need to hide that. But when I am mad, I tend to feel the need to hide that anger. I am not in my normal social settings, and don’t know how people will react to my emotions. Maybe I am afraid of what people will think of me, and wonder why I am feeling that way. It’s almost as if I’m trying to keep people distant from me when I’m upset. It’s seems also that I am trying to hide my sadness or anger to make other people happy. This seems as if I am sacrificing my happiness for other people’s happiness. I live in close quarters with my three other room mates, and feeling angry makes the room feel uncomfortable and tense. None of us want that, and sometimes hide our anger in order to try to cut the tension when really it just makes it worse. This is kind of like the household. Maybe this is a gender characteristic. We are all females in my apartment and it has been a social norm for women to try and make other’s around you happy. Like I said earlier, it’s like we’re catering to other people’s feelings and emotions and the sacrifice of our own.

Private vs. Public Emotions

In our class, we are discussing the book called the managed heart. In the book, it talks about how we perform emotions and feelings in professional life. But it is difficult to think about performing emotions in public, and not in private. Personally, I think that we are always performing our emotions. It just depends on the specific audiences that are around us. In a way, it’s kind of like the Las Chicas and performing their identities. Instead of performing our identites, we are performing our emotions… which can sometimes translate into identities. I feel that in most of professions, you commodities your emotions in order to get a higher profit, and make other people happy. We also perform emotions at home. People feel like they have to be happy at home. They may not always feel happy, but they feel like they need to be happy at home for their family’s sake and happiness. I feel that as a child, you also feel like you have to feel happy around your parents and obey their commands. It may not make you happy, but you have to pretend that you are happy for your family. I’m not necessarily saying that feelings of happiness and other emotions are not genuine. I’m just saying that maybe feelings and emotions are produced at home in private, as well as in public.